WHAT IS LOVE, important things about the relationship, especially talking about husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. there are 4 stages in a relationship issue, when we talk about relationship issues it goes through 4 stages.it is a kind of circular, if you see it carefully and observed it, you will see that it's a pattern, and this cycle is being evolved again and again. the first start with deep love.
WHAT IS LOVE-ISSUES IN A RELATIONSHIP
DEEP LOVE
it is when two person feels so much love, connection, and belongingness. so this is the first stage which we call deep love .in this love stage, they have lots of love and connection for each other and have feelings, this is the best person for me in this entire world, no one else can be better than this. anyone who is in a relationship knows they had this situation in their life. maybe before or after the marriage, but it never stays there. the stage which comes after the deep love, that is a deep disappointment.do you know about love its an only unspecific verb? if I ask you to sit or run, you know what to do. because when I say please sit down, you know you need to. if I say run, you know very well that you have to run. but if I say please love, you don't have clarity of love for you and for me. because it's an unspecific verb. the meaning of love is not the same here and it will be different from person to person. this meaning will be different for you and for your life partner.
DEEP DISAPPOINTMENT
after the deep love stage, in the deep disappointment stage, there are some rules. about your perception of love. you expected something from your life partner and your life partner does not fulfill your expectation. because the definition of love is different for both of them. two there comes a deep disappointment. This means where you feel that what you expected them they are not doing as you supposed them to do. and so many times you give this thing a meaning that this person does not love me or has changed.if you were in these stages in your relationship then you would be able to relate to what am I saying and you will remember such incidents as well.
and you will see a very clear cut that how this pattern is working in your life. you can break this, I will share some things for that as well.
DEEP HATRED
after these two stages comes the third stage which is deep hatred. it is where you feel so much hatred. why did this happen? because in that relationship you are so much dependent or connected with your partner. if you don't get what you expected, your disappointment gets turned into shared because you think you are with the wrong person in the relationship who doesn't care and has no value for you. that deep disappointment gets converted into deep hurt, and you get badly hurt and this can happen with both. it does not matter if they are male or female because they both have their own understanding and perception of life. their personal world gets disturbed. they feel they are the wrong person .so they feel hurt and too badly.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
and after all, this comes to a stage, which we call enough is enough. it's a stage where you or your life partner behaves so bad and says they can't tolerate it anymore. that means this relationship has gone through many challenges and it is enough now. what happens then? this is the worst stage. after coming on this stage your relationship gets weaker and gradually .in which you start feeling separated or disassociation. in a relationship where you were associated with a person so deep in love. now you feel disassociation with the same person. the association in deep love has changed into disassociation throughout the journey to deep hatred or enough is enough stage .that means you don't feel an association with the person. instead, you feel disassociation or separated now. most of the time you start cornering yourself.
that means, that moment which you can enjoy together, you don't want to enjoy together. rather than you feel better with your friends family or relative. These are the things to understand, what happens after the stage of enough is enough.i9n tuis burst out you say so many things to another person and they say so many things back to you. when everything inside vents out. pay attention to it there are no solutions yet .only the thing which was stuck inside of you was burst out gradually and came out. when it all came out you again start feeling light automatically. at that time you start feeling guilt as well.
why? because you said so many wrong things to the person you love a lot and so he did or in some situation, it reached to the physical level. which should never be ha[pen in any situation.
after all this, the relationship starts coming back again in deep love. maty be some intimation gets developed or a physical relationship gets developed .some things happen which takes a turning point after enough is enough stage. after this again comes the deep love stage. again you feel you love that person a lot and connected with them. now some people will feel that this challenge has passed from their life and again they are in love .nothing has happened like that, this cycle has been started again and reached at the same place again.
the only difference is this duration increases more in some people's life. that means the duration of this cycle ( from deep love to disappointment, hatred and enough is enough ) get increases or45 decreased. whathappenning is you are in a trap. you are trapped inside the cycle .w2hich was the pattern in your mind. because there is a pattern for the relationship in your mind and you are stuck in that pattern.
there is one thing and that is the solution to get out of this pattern or cycle.
firstly there is a solution at every point, there are some things you need to do at every point. when you are in the deep love stage, that time is very important that you set a common outcome. that means what is the common outcome for you and your partner. what are the things you both want to achieve together in this relationship ? what is the outcome of this relationship?
if you define from here, there will be a transformation in your life. when a guy or girl gets married. they got married because they were at an age not because they were going to take their life in some direction together .this is a big reason for relationship issues. because you don't have a common outcome .so the ideal situation is, to start with a common outcome.
In the second stage, where you are feeling deep disappointment in your relationship. so check, what are your rules? and have you told those rules to another person? if I play a game and don't tell you the game rules and if you take any action and I say it is foul or wrong. after some time,e you will get irritated and say to me either tell me the rules of the game or stop complaining. so the same things you can do in your relationship. so you need to check what did you expect which was not fulfilled. have you communicated that expectation with your partner in the right way. if not so, then you need to
third is deep hatred, now understand what happens when you are going into the deep hatred stage. in the deep hatred situation, only those events are being popped up when you were hurt by the behavior of your partner. so your mind thinks about them, intensifies them, and your talk about them. in this place, you need to take a shift. how that shift will be? you should focus on the good moment you spent together rather than the sad moments or the quality time you spent together. otherwise only this will be intensified. you will just intensify those hurting moments. try to recognize these patterns as soon as possible. thee more an early stage you make changes, the better it will be for you. right
last enough is enough, if you have reached that stage, then please pay attention to it. you are on a stage from where this cycle will start again, again you will reach deep love, and aging this cycle will be repeated. this enough is enough pattern is integrated into you and your partner. one of you must not play this game of enough is enough. which means one must quit that and not indulge in a fight and say I love you and don't want to fight with you. so that the other person will feel uneasy. this cycle gets breaking, you can break this in any step earlier. so this is the method which you can use.
we can together build a relationship and keep the good feelings of appreciation, and deep love, but how this will happen? only when we will understand how our mind is playing a game with us. how can take control of the game in your hand, not in your mind hand right? start changing this and see how much the quality of your life gets changed.
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